changes

changes are good, though i usually get into a crazy tantrum of trying to change everything at once, which makes me crazy (and probably everyone around me as well). However, for the last couple of months, l;ife has been full, to say the least, and quite stressful. So to compinsate, my body has been craving all these things that are not so nice for it, namely cheese and bread in the form of pizza, mac and cheese from the pub on the corner, fries cheese, cheese in chunks from the refrigerator, string cheese, egg and cheese breakfast sammies for every meal, and of course BLT's with fakin bacon and guess what.... cheese.

anyway, seemingly unrelated to all of this, I have been so full of moodswings it's not even funny. prone to go from happily riding horses (which usually puts me an a 3/4+ day long good mood) to bawling my eyes out on the drive home. From laughing, to screaming, and feeling rejected and sad. Oh so sad. as i think it would be difficult for me to be pms-ing for two and a half months, something has to change.
end of story

SO. I've made some promises to myself and to the people around me who have been affected by my craziness:
**i will step back, breath, and step back when i start to get heated about something menial
**i will try to be more appreciative and less judgemental
**i will start to alter my eating habits towards a healthier and happier self

the first two are a state of mind, and the third i am finding harder than the first two.
being surrounded by fried food at work and junk food at home, it takes so much willpower to keep my cravings in check.
it is a well known fact amongst the my horsey friends that i can not eat bagels... they make me grumpy and lethargic and hungry(? weird, right). as background info: it is almost tradition to get bagels, cream cheese, and coffee for horse show mornings.
my theory is that bagels are so concentrated and so wheaty that my body just can't digest it... perhaps rooted in a minor wheat allergy (allergy may be too strong a word... bodily dislike?)

So. i am trying to cut back on my wheat intake as much as possible. i'm not checking the back of everything as i had to do when i was vegan, but just trying to not eat breads and breaded things, pasta, and tortilla.... my favorite food group. instead i'm trying to eat more whole grains and take the time to make food. easier said than done. especially since our kitchen is counter deprived (seriously, what kind of kitchen doesn't have a drawer big enough for silverware????? it's enough to make a kitchen snob have a minor panic attack everytime they walk into the kitchen)

moral of the story: i want-->

RIGHT NOW!

i'm so hunnnngry RAWR